Eulogy for Dr. Frank A. Lasley III
June 29,1942 – June 20, 2012
Frank A. Lasley III was born in Staunton, Virginia where he graduated from Robert E. Lee High School that at the time was one of the highest rated high schools in the state of Virginia. Andy was the president of his senior class. He attended The University of Richmond on an academic scholarship. Later he graduated with honors from the Medical College of Virginia School of Dentistry. While in dental school he met Dottie who was in a program in cytotechnology. The relationship blossomed into a lifetime romance rooted in respect and mutual interest – more about that later.
Following graduation Andy headed north to Boston where he received his certificate in periodontics from Boston University in 1970. He and Dottie elected to settle in the Boston area where he began his practice career ultimately having Dr. Joe Maloney join him. Joe maintains that practice to this day.
Boston was the perfect fit for the Lasley’s – The coast for sailing and Vermont for skiing- a large airport to access the world so they could travel. Remember what I said about mutual interest?
Andy and and I had much in common:
-both were fellow Virginians
-both were named for our fathers
-both of our fathers were dentists
-both attended The Medical College of Virginia
-both became passionate periodontists
-both fathered a son who became a dentist
-both of our sons became orthodontists
-both served on the Board of Trustees of The American Academy of Periodontology
-both married wives who allowed them to practice periodontics with a passion
I knew Andy only casually before we served together on the board of trustees of The Academy. If memory serves right I think we served 8 years together. Dottie, we were of a like mind and I don’t think we ever disagreed on any issue -be it great or small. How can you not love a guy that had a level of enlightenment, that level of discernment, and that level of insight to always agree with me! While some trustees experienced a disconnect between mind and mouth Andy only spoke after he thoroughly understood the issue and once he understood the issue he was unwavering in his position. How can you not love a guy who thinks before he speaks?!
In his last year on the board, the year I was president, I scheduled our February board meeting in Memphis, my home town. A snowstorm blanketed New England that Thursday before we were to meet on Friday. The Boston Airport was closed. Neither Andy nor Terry Griffin could get to Memphis. Andy called and said “I will sleep on a bench here at the airport and catch a flight to Memphis on Saturday morning if you NEED me there”. I did and he and Terry came to Memphis in time for the final session. Their votes carried the day on a very critical issue. As Terry often said,
“Andy and I always had your back “. How can you not love who shows you that kind of loyalty -always?!
A couple of weeks later while skiing in Vermont Andy experienced shortness of breath. What could it be – heart? That didn’t make sense. He exercised, had no hypertension, was disciplined in his diet, was not overweight, didn’t smoke and was not diabetic. In short, no risk factors for heart disease! It made no sense! Andy was right and the ultimate diagnosis confirmed it . Thus began Andy’s final battle.
Over the next 41/2 years Andy and I talked often. Our conversations were always upbeat. Andy and Dotti surfed the net looking for even the minutest bit of information that Andy might bring before his treatment team. It became apparent to me that Andy knew more about his treatment options than some of his doctors. How can you not love a guy who with that kind of focus and optimism?
Through this whole saga who else also never gave up, Dottie! Years ago Tammy Wynette wrote a song emblematic of Dotti . Those of from the south remember that song – do you Yankees? “Stand by your man”. Dotti with her master’s degree in Molecular Biology proved to be an effective co -researcher as they explored avenues of treatment. How can you not love a wife like Dotti?!
Anwar Sadat, the late Egyptian leader, was asked what world leader he most admired and aspired to be like . His reply – “I try to copy no one. If, however, I see a trait in an individual that I admire I try to incorporate that trait into my being .
Reflect with me on the traits that Andy possessed that you would like to incorporate into your being. We could make this a workshop or seminar as we listed those traits. His struggle with cancer was marked by the traits of tenacity and optimism. Throughout his long ordeal he remained focused on his quest for life extending options. He remained stoic and never complained. How can you not love a guy who stared death in the eye for 4/12 years and never blinked? As the end drew near the doctors suggested hospice but as Dotti said, “Neither Andy or I are ready for that”. Both were fighters to the end.
Another trait I personally admired was the balance in Andy’s life. When Andy worked he worked hard and when he played he played hard – be it sailing, wind surfing, skiing, hiking, scuba diving or simply traveling. Andy did it all- going “full bore “. Nothing about Andy was routine, average, or mundane. While the mundane take their two weeks vacation every year lying on the beach or napping in the mountains Andy planned stimulating and exciting vacations and he planned on taking them often. He set aside10 to12 weeks a years or “down time ” -time to recharge his batteries. Who was always with him, Dotti. Trips to New Zealand, Australia, Alaska, Hawaii, Peru – the lists goes on and on. One of their favorites was to Yosemite National Park where they hiked and slept in tents. Our next speaker Dr. John Kobs will share some of his experiences on trips he made with Andy. Don’t you envy a guy like Andy?
Andy loved nature and the outdoors. He instilled this love in his son, Drew, whom he taught to ski when Drew was 2 . Drew became an expert skier and he an Andy often did outdoor trips together including scuba diving and wind surfing -things that were less appealing to Dottie. Having never met Drew I called Dottie to get information on Drew for this eulogy. I found her comments not only insightful but also amusing. Dottie said, “Drew is a lot like Andy -organized, focused, passionate and smart. However, he is probably a better business man than Andy.” Wonder what Andy would say about that comment!
Andy was frugal and would very candidly tell you that.
Often at academy dinners, where Dottie, Andy, Greene and I always sat together Andy would share with me some technique or means that he had discovered to save money. These were always followed by the comment ” You know I’ve got some Scotch in me”!
While life dealt him, an unfathomable diagnosis, Andy by and large was lucky – lucky to have a wife like Dottie. Lucky to have a son he admired like Drew, lucky to have a daughter-in-law like Mandy, and lucky to be able to see his granddaughter, Solinia.
Another trait I would add would be focused. I have already mentioned the balance in his life – work hard play hard. Let me tell you, you can’t do that unless you are focused and organized. Organized being another Andy trait. I could go on and on but the trait that personally impacted me most was his loyalty. Loyalty to Dott, loyalty to Drew, loyalty to our beloved specialty, loyalty to his patients, loyalty to his referring dentists, and loyalty to me. How can you not love a guy like Andy? !
In closing I want to read a poem titled “Success” by Ralph Waldo Emerson
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to learn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This, my friend, is to have succeeded.
Dotti, your husband was a success, Drew your Father was a success, Solaina, your grandfather was a success, and everyone in this room has breathed easier because Andy Lasley lived.
Presented by:
Dr. Preston D. Miller, JR.
Past President – American Academy of Periodontology
July 14, 2012